Ego Death. Have you had your transformational moment(s) yet?
The things we should really be sharing with each other now.
People like to procrastinate and continue to maintain that their sense of home is in the narratives of identity and role in this fading world. That is, until their life is interrupted. It is only in the interruption that we can stand back and look at things from an entirely new perspective. Clearly, David Byrne was aware.
And you may ask yourself
What is that beautiful house?
And you may ask yourself
Where does that highway go to?
And you may ask yourself
Am I right?...Am I wrong?
And you may say to yourself
My God!...What have I done?!
Once in a Lifetime/David Byrne/Talking Heads
I tried to build a story and identity here, just like most people do, but something bigger than me wouldn’t let me. As a young child, they appeared as gold light beings, and I had a seamless connection with them. As conditioning ensued, they became scary otherly beings, indicative of the early phases of the evolution of contact. I had to grow into the understanding of that which had been pushed beneath my everyday awareness. You know, so I could fit here. Try as I might, I could never quite fit.
The goal of these visitors seemed to be something I had forgotten — to put myself, my available consciousness, back together again. Why? Because there is more. Through dozens of nighttime interactions, I was being shown that there is more. And that everyone has an opportunity to consciously engage with the More. Because it’s almost time. Scratch that. It’s here. Ego death can be absolutely terrifying. But underneath all of that, wow.
Poetry and music saved me. Most were not interested in hearing about the More. It was dismissed as “crazy.” And it’s absolutely crazy from the Ego-on-the-throne perspective!
Below is the description and lyrics posted on SoundCloud.
This was one of the first renditions of “Almost Time” from the 2nd CD, All in One Day, written as a song in 1997-ish? Wow. I contemplated suicide a few times back then. Why? Because this Divine Love was waking up, expanding, and informing me from within. Friends thought I was crazy. A Christian minister said it was the devil. At the time, I found no mirroring of this Love in my outer world. My life continued to be a mission to reconcile this distance between who I thought I was and what this Love was showing me – about who I am, who we all are.
The original poem in my 1991 journal was inspired by a real-life experience of feeling very heavy while walking out of work one night (well-known, large defense company in San Diego), and the sunset sky was so beautiful I dropped my things, eyes fixated on the gorgeous sky, and wept. The Love filled me, deeply changed me, showed me my purpose, showed me how afraid people might be as we head for “Home,” yet it filled me with hope in the huge awakening times to come... Yes, this all happened in a parking lot. I recall being completely alone, surrounded by a sea of parked cars. Seems odd, since it was one of the largest employers in SD at the time, but that’s how my life was back then. (Image: Rassouli.com)
Almost time - poem turned into lyrics and song
I remember the day I died
upon my five o’clock release
from the cold machine
I walked out to a painted sky
that took my breath away
and I cried
God let me be alive
and yeah we’re all afraid
as we head for home tonight
but it’s alright
‘cause the colors live inside
and God
it’s almost time
I remember the night I flew
a wounded frame lay in sleep
as spirit soared
then came the pain
of my return
the gift slipped through my hands
and I cried
God let me stay alive
and yeah we’re all afraid
as we head for home tonight
but it’s alright
‘cause the navigator lives inside
and God
It’s almost time
The center of the bridge
and it’s a terrifying place
I am here to lose my life
as my soul cries out in haste
come to me finally
I’ve waited for this day
I’ve longed for you and loved you
rest now
no more pain
I remember the day I died
sinking down to the bottom of the world
I found the sun
another life lost
another soul gained
like a newborn I’ve arrived
and I cry God
we’re all afraid
as we head for home tonight
but it’s alright
and God
I know it’s time
© Eileen Meyer (EM) 1991 Lyrics, 2002 Music